Question 1

What is it like in the first session?

Accepted Answer

The first session of counselling with me is very relaxed. I will ask questions to understand some brief information about you, why you've come to counselling, what's life been life and a little bit about your history, if you are comfortable with that.

Mostly the first session is a getting to know you session, we will talk gently without pressure.

Question 2

Can therapy work even if I don't know what's wrong?

Accepted Answer

Therapy can work where ever you are right now. Wether you know what you want from therapy, wether you can describe what's going on for you, or whether you can't describe how you feel.

Thera[y with me is a gentle exploration of life, it is a calm place to look at what is happening and with gentle challenging see what work can be done to help you feel more you again.

Question 3

I|s online therapy as good as in-person?

Accepted Answer

Therapy is accessible in both ways, in-person or online. I provide a space that you feel comfortable in, whether that is online or in-person, where you are free to explore without fear or judgement.

Both ways to access therapy work.

Question 4

What's therapy like if you've never done it before?

Accepted Answer

Therapy is a space for you to be you, to talk about what you want to talk about, without pressure or judgement. I will never force you to talk about something you don't want to talk about, if you don't want to talk about your childhood, then we don't have to.

Therapy with me is exploring what you choose to explore, putting connections together of what's happening for you. With tools and techniques to get you back to the real you.

Question 5

Do we have to talk about my childhood?

Accepted Answer

Quick answer: No. We don't have to talk about your childhood!

Therapy can work without this element, yes there are things that happen in childhood which impact the ways in which we do things today. But we don't have to talk about your childhood to establish what is going on and how to process/move through it.

Question 6

I don't have any trauma, will therapy work for me?

Accepted Answer

Yes, not all therapy is about trauma. People come to therapy for many different reasons, e.g. bereavement, burnout, depression, anxiety, etc. People can come to therapy just because they don't know what is happening and want to feel better.

Question 7

I'm exhausted all the time, how will therapy help me?

Accepted Answer

Therapy can be used to explore all the reasons that you may be feeling exhausted. Therapy with me, if fundamentally exploring your world. Fully understanding what you are experiencing, from health to work, to relationships, etc, etc. Yes it may be only one of those things that is the reason you're exhausted, but understanding all the parts of life, can help bring awareness on what can be explored.

Question 8

Where will therapy take place?

Accepted Answer

You can see me online, or at my office based on Maldon, Essex.

There isn't a best way to experience therapy, it is more of a what works best for you. It is more important to find the right therapist for you.

Question 9

Do you work online?

Accepted Answer

Yes, you can access therapy online or in-person. Whichever works best for you, we can also explore both options to see what works best for you.

Online you will receive a link prior to each session. All you need to do is find a place that feels good for you to talk.

In-Person at my office in Mersea Island, Colchester, Essex, you will find a calm space for you to unwind and offload.

Question 10

What if our relationship feels too broken to fix, how do I know it's even worth trying?

Accepted Answer

We will work together to establish what sort of relationship you want and need. Working on yourself in therapy, can help you see the parts of yourself and the parts of the relationship which you cannot see and ways in which to improve.

Even if the relationship feels broken, we can work together in therapy to work on yourself, what is triggering you, what is a pattern you are continuously falling in to and ways to move forward.

Question 11

Can I have therapy on my own, even though there is a problem in my relationship?

Accepted Answer

Yes you can, therapy can help you look into your patterns, what is underlining for you and help you see what is unseen within yourself.  This can help you work on your relationship, or realise what it is you want and need in your relationship.

You can feel strong and communicate easily. Therapy can help you get there.

Question 12

I've been through so much already, what if talking about it over again just makes it worse?

Accepted Answer

Therapy can be taken at a slow and gentle pace. We do not have to talk about everything that you have been through. We talk about what you want to talk about, we can work in the therapy room without going through parts of life that feel too much to talk about.

Your sessions are your time.

Therapy can work on many different levels, You can feel balanced again, you can feel like yourself again (or for the first time). In. therapy we can work on not only what we can talk about, but what is going on in your body, this can often tell us so much without the words even being spoken.

Question 13

I've learnt to protect myself, what if I can't let the walls down?

Accepted Answer

There are many ways in which therapy can work to help you understand where those walls came from, what they are made of and why/if you still need them. Therapy with me is a calm and gentle process, with gentle encouragement to challenge previous systems within you, that may no longer be needed.

With walls there are always ways around them. Understanding what is around, over and under, can help us know the importance of what is being protected and why.

Question 14

I'm worried therapy will uncover something I'm not ready to face, have I got to share everything?

Accepted Answer

This is a common concern when coming to therapy., we do not need to talk about things that you are not ready to face. Therapy can feel safe, when the time is right to talk about something, that will be the right time. There is no pressure for that to be at any particular time.

There right therapist will never force you to talk about something you aren't ready to face.

Question 15

I've had therapy before and it didn't work, why would it work this time?

Accepted Answer

There are many different types of therapy and there are also many different types to therapist. Relationship with your therapist is key for therapy to work for you, a building of trust that enables you to feel open to talk about what you want and need to talk about is paramount.

Like with any relationship it is about finding the right person. Who you feel you can talk to, comfortable with and free to be yourself.

Question 16

I want to believe things can change, but I feel hopeless.

Accepted Answer

Feeling both a desire for change and deep hopelessness is common. It’s painful, and it doesn’t mean change is impossible. Hopelessness is a signal your brain sends after repeated setbacks or overwhelm. It narrows attention and makes future possibility feel unlikely.

In therapy we treat this as a belief rather than a fact, we work together to validate the emotion, explore what the hopelessness is protecting you from, and then design small, achievable tasks that build reliable evidence of change over time.

Question 17

I feel like I'm un-healable.

Accepted Answer

Feeling “un-healable” is a difficult and lonely experience. It’s a feeling, not a fact. Many people who’ve endured persistent pain, trauma, or repeated setbacks come to believe that change isn’t possible. That belief can grow out of real suffering, and it makes sense. But belief's can be change and challenged.

In therapy we treat “I’m un-healable” as something to be explored, not a final truth/fact. Healing doesn’t mean erasing pain or returning to exactly how things were before. It usually means reducing suffering, increasing choice, repairing relationships where possible, and building a life that holds meaning despite hard things. For many people, this kind of change is possible, but it often unfolds slowly, in steps small enough to be trusted.

Question 18

What happens if we decide to end the relationship?

Accepted Answer

Sometimes couples reach the point where they decide that ending the relationship is the healthiest step forward. If that’s the case, therapy can support you in navigating this transition with clarity, respect, and care.

We can focus on:
Clarity and communication: Helping you express your needs and decisions in a safe space.
Reducing conflict: Supporting you to separate in as constructive and respectful a way as possible.
Practical planning: Exploring what ending the relationship will mean in terms of living arrangements, finances, parenting (if applicable), and social circles.
Emotional processing: Creating space to grieve, acknowledge what the relationship meant, and begin to imagine life beyond it.
Future focus: Supporting  you in rebuilding identity, confidence, and hope after separation.

Therapy doesn’t push you to stay together or to separate, it holds space for whichever outcome you choose, and provides the tools to move through it in the least damaging and most compassionate way possible.

Question 19

What happens if I want to end the relationship, can therapy support me through that?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Therapy can be a supportive space if you’re considering, or have decided, to end a relationship. You don’t have to navigate the process alone. Together, we can:
Clarify your decision: Explore your feelings, values, and reasons, so you feel certain and grounded in your choice.
Prepare for difficult conversations: Practice how to communicate your decision with honesty and respect, while minimising unnecessary conflict.
Work through emotions: Separation often brings guilt, grief, relief, or fear,  we can process these together so they don’t feel overwhelming.
Plan for next steps: Think through the practical and emotional adjustments ahead, from living arrangements to managing social or family dynamics.
Support your wellbeing: Focus on resilience, self-compassion, and building a sense of stability as you move into the next chapter of your life.

Therapy doesn’t tell you what to do, but it offers a safe, structured space to make decisions with clarity and to move through them with care.

FAQ's

Frequently asked questions